Why Feeling Wrong Feels Right after Emotional Abuse: How to Find Flow in Your Spiritual Awakening
For those of us who were always told we were wrong somehow feeling wrong now it feels right. If there all times when everything's gone really well and everything is amazing and I've sabotaged because that feeling of good, of happy or whatever it is, feels somehow wrong. That comes from all sorts of emotional abuse at various times in our lives.
For those of us on a #spiritualawakening journey this feels as if it will destroy us. Any lightworker, empath and #scapegoat can find coming into consciousness about their feelings the way to find spirituality. Feeling the low vibration emotions in the present and then going back into our past experiences and traumas gives enlightenment about how we wish to move forward.
Looking back I can see I became so identified with the feeling of being wrong. If there wasn't some sort of low vibration emotion going on, it was uncomfortable. I was given the example that excrement is excrement but it's warm and it's soft and somehow it's kind of better to stay there than go into the unknown and be rejected.
Abandonment is such a huge thing for everybody, even those people who seem impregnable. Whether they are bullies or whoever it is, they are terrified of being abandoned. They seem to deal with it really well. Me and us and anyone who are empaths or a light workers and anyone in the family scapegoat role, those I've met, we deal with it really badly. We mute ourselves, we cut the edges off the truth in order for people we think will like us, but actually what that does is betray myself.
This is when I believe that I'm not good enough and I have to show other people only certain parts of myself. Everybody has the same feelings. Everybody feels shame and blame, anger, guilt, and everybody can feel happiness, joy, fun, excitement. We have the same emotional makeup. Some people will only ever show perfection. I can't do that because every time I did and in the long periods of time that I have tried to attain perfection in my life, it became so painful because in order to do so I'n not being who I truly am, my highest self.
That muting of my self expression kills my creativity. That's why it's so essential for me to integrate the divine masculine and divine feminine, that left brain analytical stuff and the right brain creative stuff. It's not about one or the other. This is what I call being an #emotionalalchemist
People who are fully left brain are very controlling, very analytical. They say "you must do this, this, this, and this." I go both can have both extremes. It's the duality and understanding neither is right, neither is wrong, but actually using them both, it creates the life I want. I have great analytical skills. I'm really good at that. I can just spot something and go "okay, you just need to fix it by going turning it three quarters of a degree clockwise" and sure enough it works.
It's that intuition stuff and also about the emotional stuff as well. If I can process those low vibration emotions to actually get to a point in life, in my day when I'm in flow, that's when I connect with my intuition. When I'm trying to analytically work everything out and go "okay, this needs to be like this, this needs to be like this" in order for my day to go perfectly (there's no such thing) "I need to do this, this and this and this." At the end of the day, I'm exhausted and I haven't done half of the things I wanted to do and I feel awful. When I can connect both sites and go "okay, let's do this with this." They don't have to live as opposites. Integration is tough to do, but then wow, flow comes flow and there's nothing like it.
If you've got any questions that you want answered or things do you want me to make a video on something? Just let me know. Thanks for watching.