Letting Go of Fear during Spiritual Awakening
For those of us going through a spiritual awakening whether you're a lightworker, empath or scapegoat it can be really difficult to be in a situation and let go and not want to control the outcome.
There's a fear and I an idea that if I don't think about what comes next, an idea that I want to stick with what I've got even if it's painful because it's easier than stepping into the unknown. That stuff is terrifying but what I find that the universe just gives me nudges and says "let go of this" and when I don't listen, it gives me pushes and says "let go of this" and if I don't listen, it gets the Mallet of Truth and clocks me around the head and I'm forced to change my circumstances.
I can avoid reality but I cannot avoid the circumstances of avoiding reality. The Universe is keeping track, that's karma. If I think I can avoid consequences to my actions today then I will soon me in pain and forced to change.
For me the spiritual awakening is letting go of the illusions that I have about what serves me, about who I am, what works in my life, and allowing myself to change even though I don't know what's gonna come next. even when it just feels like I'm not going to live and it is never that bad. If I can let go it usually means that I never get to crisis because I'm not holding on so tight. So many people I know get to a crisis point before they do anything and then it's really painful. If I can just come into line with who I am and say "my name is Mark" and follow on with whatever comes after that then my life flows.
Allowing the world to see who I am, that's hard. It's like there's a whole bunch of stuff I love. I love people. I love traveling. I love finding the wonder in life and what blocks me is my fear about what comes next. I was reading my bucket list today. It's got some incredible stuff on it and in order to be able to step into this amazing, wondrous life I'm going to need to let go of some personal baggage. It's not comfortable. It's scary and it's a process. I'm not going to do it all at once and if I don't do it all at once there's a part of me that wants to beat myself up because I'm not perfect and that's the voices in my head that are not mine. They were given to me since I was a kid.
My recovery on myself is about working out who I am and what I want. It's been a long road but there's a bliss, a flow when I do what I love instead of what I should think I should. If I can listen to my intuition then I find flow. When I work through the traumatic experiences of my life I can be lead with my heart yet still use my head to kind of make sure my decisions are appropriate, make sure they're good and in line with who I am and who I want to be. By doing this my life gets better. The more I run away from making videos and the my throat closes down.
Then my thyroid doesn't work as well. My medicine everyday is making videos. I didn't do it every day and that's okay, I can give myself a break. Being gentle with myself, learning to love myself my life gets better. That's hard stuff but one day at a time I'm get to see what's available for my life. Now I work with other people as a coach to do the same, then we all work together to create this amazing world where we can live with connection with each other. I want to be around people like that. Those are my tribe and I love my life even more. By working together to help each other we can be free of manipulation, abuse and narcissistic circumstances.